4 c's of successful parenting

4 C’s of Successful Parenting: Calm, Confident, Compassionate, in Control

Hey Mommies! Parenting is a tough job, but keeping in mind these 4 C’s can help create successful parenting and build a strong, positive relationship with your children.

1. Remain CALM– Staying calm is so critical in parenting. If you constantly let yourself get worked up, mad, upset, anxious, etc, you will always be on edge and likely not much fun to be around. Your child will pick up on this and feed off of it.

I know we all have our days where things just get under our skin and we may loose our cool, but doing our best to remain calm.. most of the time… is so important.

2. Be CONFIDENT– Again, parenting is tough and a life changing experience. If you’re a new parent and haven’t had much experience with kids, you may not feel very confident in your parenting. You may wonder if you’re “doing it right” or second guess your decisions, but it’s important to remain confident.

If you come across as passive, timid, or unsure to your kids, they will pick up on it, and take advantage of it. You may not parent the same way your friends do, but be confident and strong in what YOU are doing. You may have to go through some trial and error to see what strategies really work for you and your child, but remaining confident will get you to the point where you find what works. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it!

I had 5 years experience working with children before my son, but it was completely different when he came along. I definitely questioned some of the things I did or would second guess myself, but I remained confident and finally got the hang of things.

3. Be COMPASSIONATE– This seems pretty obvious and I think that most parents are compassionate, but I also know that little ones can really push our limits. Temper tantrums and meltdowns can get so frustrating, and we can sometimes forget that even though we THINK that whatever caused the meltdown is not a very big deal, it is in fact a very big deal to our child.

Putting yourself in your child’s shoes and seeing through their eyes will definitely help make you a better, stronger parent, and your child will appreciate your understanding.

4. Stay In CONTROL– You are the mom (or dad). You are the adult. You are in control, and you need to stay in control. Kids are smart and will push boundaries. It can be very easy to start giving in to your child’s demands when the temper tantrums and meltdowns start. Giving in makes them happy and can help keep your sanity…but only for a moment.

Once your children know they can act a certain way and get what they want, they will constantly act this way. The result will be many more behavioral issues. They will be in control and you won’t.

It is your job as a parent to remain in control of situations and determine what is acceptable/unacceptable and allowed/not allowed. Sometimes you do have to pick your battles, and occasionally, you may decide to give in for your sanity. BUT, it should always be on YOUR terms, not your child’s.

Calm, Confident, Compassionate, in Control. My 4 C’s of successful parenting

By: Emily Bettis, MOT/L


Emily Bettis, MOT/L is a pediatric occupational therapist and mother. She has been working with children birth-5 since 2008 and has been a mother since 2013. Emily is the founder and author HeyMommies.com

2 thoughts on “4 C’s of Successful Parenting: Calm, Confident, Compassionate, in Control

  1. Wonderful tips on parenting, Emily! It’s helpful that you named them with the four “C” words so that they are easy to remember! I love the final note you make– that everything should be on YOUR terms. It’s so important to follow through with what you say/withhold going against your word. Like you said, kids totally pick up on that and they will attempt to take advantage of you if you aren’t consistent on your word. Xx

    1. Thanks Katie! Follow through is definitely SO important. Thanks for the feedback and for reading!

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