Hey Mommies! So most of my posts have been tips and tricks so far, but as I’m turning 30 tomorrow, I thought I’d share some more personal thoughts and insights on life and being a mom.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about through the last year of my 20’s and leading up to being 30 is that I am at a point in my life where I truly feel like an adult.
Technically, I have been classified as an adult for some time now. I got married at 21. I graduated college at 22 and started my first full time job in my profession. I bought a house with my husband, paid bills, bought cars, went on vacations and did all the “grown-up/adult” things, but I never really felt like an adult.
I was carefree and having fun. In some ways, the first part of my 20’s felt like I was finally getting to be a carefree kid.
Growing up, I was always the goody goody. I did everything right. I didn’t get in trouble. I didn’t party. I got good grades. I was driven and focused. Once I reached my 20’s, finished school, and was on my own with my husband, I felt like I actually started living my life. In some ways, I felt more childish then than I had growing up.
My husband and I knew we eventually wanted to have children, but neither of us were ready. So, we made the most out of the time we had just the 2 of us.
However, the time finally came where I got baby fever, and we were ready for a baby. After a year of trying, I finally got pregnant and had our son! I was 27 when he was born and turned 28 a few months later.
Life changed and I started to change some during the first year of having my son, but I still didn’t feel quite like a grown up. Maybe I was clinging to the carefree days before having him. Maybe I just needed more time to adjust and come into motherhood. But, this last year of my 20’s and in the months leading up to being 30, I finally feel like a true grown up.
I still have fun and go out with my husband and friends, but I don’t feel as young as I used to. I worry more about things. After breaking an ankle TWICE in my 20’s, I worry about getting hurt and not being able to take care of my son and things around the house. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but I worry.
I worry about my son and his safety. I really worry a lot. I know I shouldn’t, but the older I get, the more I realize how fragile life is. I just want my son to have a long full life, and I want to be around for it.
In addition to worrying, I now feel this overwhelming amount of responsibility in a way I’ve never felt before. I’ve always been a pretty responsible person, but it just feels different now. I feel this intense responsibility to my son and husband to be a good mom and wife and be there to help take care of them, even though I could probably do a better job of it sometimes. :-/
Also, I don’t know about you, but as a child, I remember looking at my mom and just thinking she was a grown up, an adult, and even that she was…*gasp*…old. (sorry mom) 🙂 I now realize and feel like that’s how my son looks at me.
At this point in my life, I have also found myself reminiscing on how things were when I was growing up. Certain things have become “classics” to me. Old songs, old toys, old movies, certain cars, and so on. This is the same as it was for my parents when I was growing up.
I think all of this combined has become a reality that I am in no way a child any more. I’d say I’m still young at heart and likely will be forever. I love to play and be silly. I sometimes act childish (just ask my husband :)) I like playing outside, throwing a football, riding bikes, going to the park with my son and climbing on structures with him. I love browsing the toy aisle with my son and get excited to play pretend with him and his toys. But despite all of this, my childhood is gone. I’m 100% grown up, and I now truly feel like an adult.
So what about you? When did you finally feel like a true grown up? Was it having kids? A particular life event? Or something you never really thought about. Let me know in the comments below! I’d love to hear your thoughts!
By: Old Lady, Emily Bettis 😉